Jo (they/them) is 35, queer and identifies as non-binary. They live in Bournemouth where they work as a tattoo artist. Marta tells us they are kind, non-conforming and authentic.
Marta (she/her) is a 28 queer woman who lives in Bournemouth and works as dance artist and teacher. Jo tells us she is intelligent, brave and beautiful.
HOW DID YOU MEET?
Marta - We have been together 4 and half years.
Jo - I wish there was this big romantic story but it was Tindr. After 2 attempts, I think, Marta swiped the wrong way by accident.
Marta - Definitely choice.
Jo - There’s not many people in Bournemouth so I got another go!
ON LOCKDOWN LIFE
Jo - Lockdown was a bit of a rollercoaster for me. I wanted to make the most of the time, so made a list if things I wanted to learn like handstands and Italian…I still can’t do any of those things! I also started a YouTube channel about my experiences as a non-binary queer person. [www.youtube.com/channel/UCltBXyyMtBmBqROETNCPs9w]
Marta - It has been challenging emotionally, but I have learnt a lot about myself over this time.
Jo - We used to get out in the van a lot and go places.
Marta - I meditated a lot. It helped as my thoughts were racing. I also kept moving and dancing which kept me grounded for sure.
Jo - I did more journaling, researching and paying attention to my thoughts. I did things I would normally do, like take the dog for a walk and go surfing but with more intention. Why do I need to go and do this? I do I want to go do this? Why am I doing this? Rather than just slotting and squeezing it into the day.
Marta - We both value alone time and that was a lot easier before Covid.
Jo - Lockdown was like Jack in the box. If you are ready for it, it can be fun but if it is a surprise and you are not ready for it, it can be hell.
On PERSONAL SPACE
Jo - All of our rooms became everything. We tried to make the space as big as possible.
Marta - Yeah, there has been a lot of moving of furniture.
Jo - Right at the start of Lockdown we were like, ‘Right, we are going to be with each other 24/7, communication is going to be key’.
Marta - It was quite explicit when someone was was like, ‘Get out of my way,’ type of thing. Body language made it clear too.
Jo - There are 3 of us in the flat which was a blessing and curse. We had someone else to engage with but it was always us 3 in the flat.
ON REPLICATING PRE-COVID EXPLOITS
Marta - I am obsessed with nature. We have a garden and we tried to do everything in the sunshine, even when my laptop was burning I was like, ‘Must stay outside, carry on!’
Jo - Yeah, we really missed going on adventures. I did so many online quizzes, uuuuh. I enjoy a when its at a pub, having a pint and hanging out. No, I’m not a fan of online quizzes.
Marta - I. Love. Quizzes. I love to see how many answers I can get.
Jo - And then always using the excuse, ‘But I’m Italian, I’m not suppose to know this!’
ON BEING LGBTQIA+ in Bournemouth
Jo - There is a small scene here. When we do see a queer person we are a bit like ‘Wooo Hello!’
Marta - ‘FRIENDS!’
Jo - It’s not common and it’s not uncommon. When I go to Brighton, Bristol or London I can go and dress in anything or I can walk down the street naked and no one would bat an eye lid. In Bournemouth I feel like I can wear what I want only in certain spaces.
Marta - We have been making conscience choices of who we want in our lives and who we want to be surrounded by in our everyday life. Not just the people who are accepting, the people who are active allies. I am at a stage where I don’t give a f*** about proving my identity or apologising for being with Jo.
Jo - Yeah, I don’t give a f***. Being in the ocean I can totally be myself. You’re there and no one cares. I’m in the water and it’s just about enjoying myself.
ON INTIMACY
Jo - Marta has a great passion for life and the ability to motivate herself and others.
Marta - It switched and changed but when one person was broken the other person was both looking after themselves whilst supporting the other. Lockdown changed a lot. The idea of intimacy changed.
Jo - Because of being around each other 24/7 everyday was blurring into one long continuous day, it was odd when you tried to make change that and do something special like date night.
Marta - There was a lack of being intimate with yourself so it was hard to be intimate with others too
Jo - Just before Lockdown I was thinking, ‘Oh no, she doesn’t know what I am like all the time’ Haha!
Marta - There were moments were we would be like, ‘You need to disappear now’.
Jo - Originally it was bit scary because I like routine, but I am quite good at flipping and making a new routine.
Marta - Jo has this power of being so openminded and being able to mould so quickly. That's such an amazing thing to have.
Jo - We were meant to get married this year.
Marta - Yeah we listened to our wedding playlist a lot.
