Abii is a 38 year old queer woman who lives in Weston-Super-Mare and works as an estate agent. Letty tells us she is loyal, funny and emotionally intelligent.
Letty is a 34 year old queer woman who lives in Bristol and works for a charity as a volunteer coordinator. Abii tells us she is strong, inclusive and kind.
ON QUEERNESS
Letty - Before I’d always avoided really identifying as anything. I feel like I don’t really fit in neatly to any of the ‘categories’. I’ve been thinking a bit more about queerness over the last few years, so increasingly identifying as that.
Abii - I’ve gone through stages. I started off being bisexual, and slowly that became more gay. However, I was really uncomfortable with the word queer for a long time. Experiencing musicians who are totally embracing their queerness has turned my opinion. It used to feel like I was in this ‘dirty little secret club’ and now I’m in this club that seems a lot bigger and fuller and I look outside and it feels smaller out there - like for once I am in the majority group.
Letty - It feels like you don’t have to be in a box. The other things feel like you are putting yourself in a box and it’s all about who you want to have sex with, whereas being queer feels broader.
HOW DID YOU MEET?
Letty - We met in a choir that we were both in before Lockdown. We were the two newbies.
Abii - Nobody knew about us at choir.
Letty - Abii was more comfortable about being open with it than me.
Abii - I found it naughty and exciting!
Letty - I don’t know, it’s about being outed- constantly you are being outed in different situations.
Abii - When people assume you're straight, like at work for example, they put you into a corner and it gives you two choices 1. Lying to protect the person who assumed your sexuality, or 2. Risking it all and coming out. It can feel so entrapping.
Letty - We’ve been together 1 year and 4 or 5 months. I keep count because it’s one of my longest relationships and Abii is like ‘WHAT?!’
Abii- I don’t keep count HA!
ON LOCKDOWN LIFE
Letty - I live in Bristol. During Lockdown I moved in with Abii- although I didn’t really use the word ‘moved’ I used the word ‘stayed’ with Abii in Weston! When Lockdown started, we had not been together that long. This situation kind of threw us together without any expectation. There wasn’t a heaviness going into it, like ‘Oh, lets see whether this works’, it was more like- ‘Let’s just get on with life!’
Abii - I was like, ‘Actually I’m freaking out here, what if she’s here for like over a year… I don’t want to live with this person yet!’ But when you (Letty) arrived in Weston, it just worked! It was about preservation. We were forced into a situation where had to live together and make it work, or else it could have been the end of everything. We weren’t ready for that.
ON INTiMACY
Abii - I will never be comfortable holding hands in public for very long. That’s the sad truth.
Letty - And if we’re holding hands you’ll do it when no one else is around and if you see people in the distance approaching, you let go of my hand.
Abii - So do you.
Letty - I don’t think we’d feel comfortable being really out here generally.
Abii - It’s just the risk thing. In Bristol I’m far more comfortable. It’s just a far more diverse place. In a little seaside town, I wouldn’t want to walk past the wrong person holding hands. [To Letty] ‘Are you warm enough little muffin head’.
Abii - When we went on longer walks in Lockdown, we definitely held hands.
Letty - Did we?
Abii - A little bit,
Letty - Yeah, not excessively,
Abii - Little smooch in the woods.
Letty - I am a lot more comfortable in our relationship.
Abii - You are a lot more comfortable being affectionate in-front of my parents.
Letty - I think that is a time thing, but Lockdown has sped up us getting closer.
Abii - And I think our parents were like ‘I am glad they have got each other.’
Letty - They wanted to make sure we were together.
ON REPLICATING PRE-COVID EXPLOITS
Letty - Friends’ houses and we go to our friend’s event ‘Don’t Tell Your Mother.’ [https://www.facebook.com/ClubDTYM/]
Abii - Very early on we said, ‘Let’s try and make the best of this situation’. We are very sociable people and because going out wasn’t allowed we had to replicate that. We changed the bulb to a disco light, and it hasn’t come out since.
Letty- Before Lockdown we wouldn’t usually have a party every week, but it was a way to break up the week and break the norm.
Abii - Every Friday or Saturday night. The light goes on, music goes on and we just have a good dance around for a long time.
Letty - We didn’t have a name for the party, but Abii would always say ‘Do you fancy some sparkles?’
WHAT ARE YOU MOST THANKFUL TO YOUR PARTNER FOR THROUGHOUT LOCKDOWN?
Abii - I think sometimes I’m quite difficult and I think you (Letty) are very forgiving of that. You see beyond that and you see vulnerability.
Letty - I think kindness and having someone so there for me. It’s just wonderful to know that you (Abii) have whole heartedly got my back. You are there for me and will look after me.
